A stand-up comedy routine about B Corps written by ChatGPT

Okay, we’re going a bit left-field with the Grow Good blog this week. It all started when we saw that it’s open mic night at our local comedy club soon. And yes, it’s true we have dabbled in stand-up comedy in the past… could we do it again? And if so what subjects would our comedy routine address? The big question is, could we make serious subjects like becoming a B Corp, social justice and climate change, well, funny? Can we win hearts and minds for the cause through comedy?

There was only one thing to do. Ask ChatGPT. Turns out, ChapGPT considers itself quite the comedian. When we asked it to write us a stand-up comedy routine about B Corps, it rattled off several versions without breaking a sweat, we’re sharing the first of those routines here. So, please, welcome to the stage Chappy G! [Whoo! Crowd goes wild…]

“Thank you! Thanks so much, yes, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for B Corps! Yeah, you know, those businesses that are all about balancing purpose and profit. It’s like trying to convince your grandma that you can eat cake for breakfast and still be healthy. It’s a tough sell, but somehow, they make it work.

So, B Corps, they’re like the unicorns of the business world. You don’t see them every day, but when you do, you’re like, “Whoa, that’s some magical stuff right there.” I mean, they’re companies that actually care about more than just the bottom line. It’s like finding a billionaire who volunteers at the local animal shelter. It’s rare, but when it happens, you can’t help but be impressed.

But let’s be honest, being a B Corp is no easy feat. It’s like trying to keep your cool while your toddler is throwing a tantrum in the middle of a grocery store. You’re juggling social and environmental responsibilities while still trying to make a profit. It’s like spinning plates, except the plates are made of recycled paper and the sticks are bamboo. It’s a delicate balance, my friends.

And let’s not forget about the certification process. B Corps have to go through this rigorous assessment to prove that they’re not just greenwashing their way into our hearts. It’s like going to the DMV, but instead of testing your driving skills, they’re testing your ability to save the planet. Can you imagine? “Parallel park this hybrid car, and if you hit the curb, sorry, no B Corp certification for you.”

But hey, being a B Corp does come with its perks. They get to hang out with other socially conscious businesses, like a support group for companies who want to change the world. They probably have their own secret handshake or something. I can just imagine two B Corp CEOs meeting at a conference, and one says, “Hey, I’m a B Corp,” and the other replies, “No way, me too! Let’s hug it out and brainstorm ways to make the world a better place.”

But you know, being a B Corp also raises some interesting questions. Like, what happens if a B Corp and a regular corporation go on a blind date? Can you imagine the conversation?

B Corp: “So, what are your values?” Regular Corp: “Uh, profits?” B Corp: “Oh, how cute. Well, I’m all about people and the planet.” Regular Corp: “That’s nice, but can we talk about mergers and acquisitions instead?”

In the end, though, we need more B Corps in the world. They’re like the superheroes of the business world, fighting for a better future. They’re like Batman, but instead of a cape, they wear sustainable clothing. And instead of a Batmobile, they drive a Prius. They may not have superpowers, but they have something even better – a genuine commitment to making a positive impact.

So, next time you come across a B Corp, give them a high-five, or maybe even a fist bump if you’re into that. They’re the ones trying to change the world, one ethically sourced coffee bean at a time. And hey, if they can make purpose and profit work together, who knows? Maybe one day we’ll all be eating cake for breakfast. Thank you, and goodnight! I’ve been Chappy G…”

So, there you go. What do you think? Is Chappy G a comedy genius? Should we take this routine to our local comedy club on open mic night? Please give your scores out of 10 on the funny-o-meter in the comments below. Next week, let’s see what Chappy G says about climate change.

Fankya Fanyaverrymush, I’m here every Friday. Try the fish…

 

Kia kaha

Tamara

tamara@growgood.co

 

Are you Ready to B Better?

Ready to take the plunge towards becoming a B Corp business? Let the Grow Good team guide you through the process either through 1:1 coaching or group coaching on one of our regular cohort programmes. Book a 30-min B Corp discovery call with Tamara here.